Things I’ve been considering.*

With Sandra Bullock adopting Louis, the age old “white people shouldn’t be able to adopt black children” debate has popped back up. Why it’s even a debate, I don’t know. It’s such bullshit. It’s complained about, and used as an example of the underlying racism in our society that black children in the foster care system are the bottom of the barrel when it comes to adopting. But let a white person adopt one of those bottom of the barrel-bottom black kids and people are all in a tizzy over how that black child isn’t going to learn how to deal with being called a slur or not being able to hail a cab in NYC. I just…what the fuck? Is it really so pressing of an issue that you’d rather a kid stay in the system, pretty likely unloved and unwanted until they are of age? You think the odds for a rich, fulfilled, happy and productive adult life are better? Really?

I just find it silly. More silly even than the argument against letting gays adopt, which is pretty friggin’ silly. And if we’re all supposed to be raising our children with a good grasp of our culture and ethnicity, my black grandparents failed me, and I’m failing my part Mexican children, and their white father is failing them too. Just, silly. I don’t know how the hell to prepare my child for being called a nigger or a spic or just plain ugly. I’m winging it. Like many good parents do, in many situations. I refuse to believe that mixing up races is going to create a whole new breed of black folk that don’t know what it means to be black folk. They’ll learn – trust me. Society will remind them, as long as we have gems like Rush Limbaugh in the world.

My only concern about Sandra Bullock’s adoption of this child is the fact that it was supposed to be done with her ex, Jesse James, whose mistress is supposedly a white supremacist. My common sense is telling me that non-white supremacists don’t screw white supremacists. I’m wondering just how far that trail of breadcrumbs leads, and if it goes back to Sandra. That would suck. For the baby.

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I’ve been thinking and I’m afraid that I might be a helicopter mom. We live in the country; very small town; lots of land. 3 acres, hundreds of feet from the main road and surrounded by woods on three sides. I let my daughters play outside in the backyard where I could see them from the bay window in the kitchen while I made dinner for the first time ever last week. Every time they get a scratch or a bruise (which is rare) I know exactly where it came from and if I don’t I panic a little. I don’t know. I’m big on letting them pick themselves up and not allowing a bunch of crying and whining and self pitying, but still… I think I may try to protect them from too much.

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It’s going to be one hell of a summer this year. It was 97 degrees the other day, in April. Humidity was 70% and it wasn’t raining. God only knows what June, July, and August are going to feel like around here. I hate North Carolina. I hope the fleas and mosquitoes are under control this year.

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I missed two tests in Sociology. There are only five. Extenuating circumstances (READ: procrastination biting me in my fat ass) I’ve completed all of my assignments and everything, but I’m afraid I’m going to get a low B in the class. Which means that I won’t have a 4.0 GPA anymore, after this semester. Which is depressing. I still haven’t decided what I’m going to major in. There’s no money or work in English degrees, I suck at Math, and I’m not interested in going past a Master’s. I also get bored extremely easily, don’t like regular work schedules, or bossing other people around, and want to be able to wear jeans and sneakers every day. For good money. So what do I do?

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I’m determined to get through the entire Vertigo & Dark Horse imprints before I start reading any new comics, or attempting to catch up with my favorite superheroes from DC and Marvel. I read the first arc and 1/2 of the second arc of The Umbrella Academy, and all I really want to say is STICK TO MUSIC GERARD WAY. Pure suckage. I started on American Virgin (Vertigo), got to #11 and quit that too. How long does it take you to form a story and develop the characters to a point where the reader starts caring about them, dickheads? Seriously.

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