“She’d be DECIMATED.”

I appreciate it when people don’t sugarcoat parenting, or act like children are the holy grail and people aren’t allowed to call them on their bullshit. Sometimes, they are little fucking assholes and you want to kick them out of windows. It’s just the truth.

I love my daughters, but sometimes I really do not like them. At all. And if you’re a parent and honest with yourself, I think it’s probably the same for you. I’ve yet to meet anyone that wasn’t delusional that didn’t nod yes to that statement.

I like this guy. I’m going to see him live next month with my mother. She and I will bond over laughter at that one time a few years ago when The Bella had a black eye because she walked into a door (because she’s stupid, of course) and we took her to Chik-Fil-A, some woman felt the need to come up to her and ask “What happened to you honey!?!” right in front of our faces as if she was going to admit to being battered senseless and I said to the bitch “Seriously? Are you serious? If I hit her, she’d be a lot worse off.” while holding up my fists and showing off their massiveness and she looked at me like an insane person and walked away to call child services, I’m sure.

Good times….good times…