If opposites attract, I must be the absolute nicest person on the planet.

What the hell?!

The other night, Joey and I went to see Modest Mouse. Show started at 9pm, we got there pretty early, and got a good spot, behind the railing that separated the floor from the people down there in the little…pit? I dunno. There were a couple of girls in front of us, and we weren’t all shoved up on them because I believe in respecting personal space. And it was hot enough. Shit. Anyway, as the show went on, things got more crowded, but it was fine. Once, two girls moved in front of us and stood. A quick word from Joey and they moved along.

Later, some chick comes along, shoving her way between us, attempting to pull her friend behind her. I watch her, and her nose is turned up in the air and she stands in front of Joey and turns to beckon her friend along as if she’s found an adequate spot. Our spot. No way. I don’t remember what happened, but I pushed her. And told her to get the fuck out of my way. And she did. I didn’t push her hard, but she almost fell. Shaky footing, I’d guess.

Even later, two girls come shoving their way up in front of me again. I held them back with one arm and when they kept coming, I pushed them too. They both collapsed onto the people behind them and I yelled ‘You do not want to fuck with me. Seriously.’ and one yelled back ‘what?!’ and I yelled ‘DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.’ She rolled her eyes and I clenched my fist, preparing to fucking clock that bitch but she moved along. Good for her.

I don’t get it. It was SO hot in there that my hair went on fire.

And I was not happy – I spent 2 1/2 hours flat ironing that shit straight earlier in the day.

I mean it was REALLY hot. Fucking Isaac Brock (the lead singer) changed his clothes mid show and bitched about the heat too. Why was it that you had to packed like caviar in order for people not to think there was a free spot in front of you? It was really stupid. REALLY STUPID. But you know, lots of people, drinking, probably drug use – there are going to be some fuckers. It’s basically guaranteed.

Today, I get up and go out in the cold, in the rain, with the girls. I sit in the waiting room at the doctor’s for a 1/2 hour. I’m there for a complete physical. When they finally call me back they proceed to tell me that if I don’t have anyone to watch them, I’ll have to reschedule. Because they can’t be with me. I ask why not. The response is that they don’t need to see me get a pap smear. EXCUSE ME? These are my kids. If I want them to see me get a fucking leg amputated, they should be able to.

Mind you, I’ve been in that doctor’s office so often since the new year that they know my girls by name. They are constantly commenting on how well behaved they are, and know that they would have sat in their chairs against the wall until I was finished, no problem. But the new physician’s assistant that’s not even performing my exam tells me that my girls can’t see whatever he thought they would have seen (the chairs would have been beside the head of the table, not really giving them a bird’s eye view of what was going on in the nether regions).

One of the nurses mentions how sweet and quiet they are, and he cuts her off with “She’ll have to reschedule.” I say “Well thanks for letting me know that ahead of time. You know, before I came out in the pouring rain in 40 degree weather. Or maybe before I sat in your waiting room for 1/2 an hour while you twiddled your thumbs.” because there were NO other patients in the front or back. He didn’t respond and my foot twitched with the urge to destroy his shin. I waited a fucking month for that appointment. And guess when it’s rescheduled for? April 17th. Another fucking month. Perfect.

I was pissed. I am still pissed now. But I was really pissed at that point.

I leave there, and I am driving along, minding my own business, and this bitch cuts me off. Like speeds past me, pulls out of her lane, into mine and then slams on brakes because there was no space really between me and the car that had been in front of me. I hate people that drive like that and my road rage is legendary amongst my friends and family. But what really got me livid was that she had no reasoning for it. She wasn’t turning or anything. She just did it, to do it. So I pull to her right at the next stop light. And I roll my passenger’s side window down. She glares at me, rolls her window down and makes a face like ‘What bitch? Something to say?‘ That makes me even angrier. Like she was welcoming an altercation, when I all was really going to do was say ‘Seriously?‘ and maybe call her a bitch and keep going. She wants me to do that. So I don’t.

I very calmly pick up the fast food cup of Diet Pepsi sitting in my holder and throw it out my window. Into hers. It hits her square in the face, pops open and soaks her. The light turns green, and I drive along my way. I glance back and her car is still sitting there. I’m assuming it was shock? I dunno.

I overreacted, maybe, but my asshole quota had already been filled for the week.

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