8 minute shower.

very week I treat myself to an 8 minute shower.

Ten if I clean it at the same time.

I have a butt load of hair so that is my conditioning time. Waist length hair can end up as literally a butt load of hair. All the girls with long thick hair are nodding in agreement, you lose long strands and that particular crevice is a natural magnet for the wayward hair and afterwards you are all ‘what the fuck?’ When you discover an arm length hair in your panties…

Ahem.

Anyway. This time I was all what the hell I am gunna have a TEN minute shower and I am NOT going to do any freaking cleaning. I mean, I use cold water to wash my clothes – econo cycle – don’t water my garden (weeds don’t need water) haven’t washed my car in a year and I never hardly ever occasionally sporadically am environmentally friendly when it comes to mopping my floors.

I fucking DESERVE a 10 minute shower people! Even with water restrictions dammit!

And then I started feeling all guilty. The 70% hike in my water bill. The environment. My childrens future. The whales. A whole fucking TOWN ran out of water once and they had to truck in water and everyone had to shower at the local caravan park.

*shudder* all that other people naked in the stall before me, farting and blowing their fucking noses and peeing and shit. Or literally shitting.

*vomit*

And don’t get me started on the sharing of washing machines with the local ferals. My panties sloshing around in a machine minutes after some skid marked pot heads pants?

Someone hold me…

At around the 6 minute mark I started thinking about how we live on the driest continent on earth or some such. And water is running out cause of all those damn fuckers and their Hummers and farting cows chewing up the ozone layer and warming up the planet and OMG it is almost summer and I hate summer and do you have to dust or vacuum airconditioners? and I am having one of those in-head run on sentences that bug the crap out of people and I need to stop this shit and get out of the fucking shower or my kids are gunna DIE and it will be all my fault for wanting extra shiny hair.

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